I am not the most patient person when it comes to things I want or need. I am a very driven go getter and I have high expectations of myself. I can be patient with my husband, my daughter and even the drivers on Houston streets, but I am not patient with myself. Here let me back up a bit….
January 19th 2010 I was about to be 17 weeks pregnant and I was suddenly put on bedrest. The doctor put me on bedrest because he said he saw blood floating around in the sac. He pointed out little white specks and remarked how they differed from the other white specks. A few days later my sac of water sprung a leak. My fluid level went from 20cm to 14cm then down to 12cm. Thankfully, that was the lowest number I saw. The normal levels are from 8cm – 20cm. Anyways, while on bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy I decided that God’s lesson for me in all of this was faith! I had to have faith my daughter would make it against all of the odds and mounting complications. This year God is teaching me all about patience and again, I am NOT the most patient person.
I have to be patient about my journey with photography and my own business. I have to be patient with my housing and working situation. I have to be patient with my daughter’s illness. Most importantly, I have to be patient with myself! I can’t expect to rush this journey I am on. We learn the most about ourselves and our passions through our journeys. It is what makes us who we are and makes us appreciate where we have come from.
…..but God, please don’t keep a girl waiting. I am ready to be back in my home, I am ready for my daughter to spend a night in the nursery that her Daddy and Uncles worked so hard on. I am ready to make money to pay for my daughter’s medical bills. I am ready to start swimming and stop doggy paddling through life. I pray there is a glimmer of hope near us soon.
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Lots of LOVE and prayers.
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